© 2019 Claire Spratt

FULL LENGTH PLAYS

LET SLEEPING BAGS LIE   
Widower Ron has a new lady friend, Mandy. After 47 years married to his beloved June, Ron's attempts to get back in the dating game and woo Mandy are nothing short of clumsy. But what better way to win her heart than to take her camping with his son, Simon and Simon's girlfriend, Jill. Not one for change, Simon isn't accepting of Ron's new love interest. To him she's loud, offensive and knows too many mucky jokes. And 
she isn't June. Can a long weekend in two 2-man tents win Simon around and win Mandy's heart? And who will sleep in which tent? A tale of a 
72-year-old man's search for companionship and cuddles, without upsetting his son.
2 M (44, 72), 2 F (40, 55-60)

 

JUST LIKE ANTHEA  
Hopeless home-makers, divorcee Paula and married Debbie, both live in chaotic messy homes yet dream of tidy cupboards, neatly folded fresh bed linen and the ability to prepare meals which aren't just thrown in the microwave. When Paula decides to 're-brand' herself as an immaculate home-maker in order to get a new husband, and arguments between Debbie and husband Terry over their messy house reach breaking point, it's the kick start they both need. In a bid to become perfect housewives they turn to DVDs & books written by domestic goddess Anthea Turner for guidance. However, their 'Anthea obsession' might leave them with gleaming bath taps and perfectly folded towels - but little time for anything else. Join the ladies in this comedy play on their journey to be just like Anthea.
1 M (43), 2 F (43, 53). First professional production - Sept 2013.

A LITTLE IN TENTS  
Pensioner Ron and his son Simon head off on a camping trip, despite neither of them having slept in a tent since a disastrous holiday in Bridlington in 1982 when Simon was 12. Ron is hoping for a relaxing break with a spot of fishing, Simon with a good book. All is going according to plan until larger than life Jill & Michelle pitch up beside them and stamp out any tranquillity. This is not quite the outdoor experience any of them had envisaged, but as they all appear to have their own reasons for staying put they stick it out. With each of them burdened with life's sorrows will anyone of them find the peace they are truly searching for - and will Ron ever catch a fish? Full of laughter, tears, tenderness and a dollop and camp site capers.  2 M (42, 70), 2 F (20, 37). First professional production - Sept 2012. Further tours Apr & Sept 2014.

 

STAR MAKERS  
It's panto time at The Theatre Royal as we join the staff behind the scenes at the biggest show of the year. On the front line is Miriam who has worked as an usherette for 20+ years, but the tangled love life, (and anger issues), of teenage usherette Trudy leaves you wondering how they ever manage to sell any ice creams. Knitting-mad stage door keeper Pam is a direct link to the cast, but if Joe Public want access to them they have to get passed her and her knitting first. Including devoted autograph collector Kerry-Ann, who waits patiently every day for the glimpse of a 'star'. Attempting to run this roller coaster production is despairing, on edge, stage manager Kate, forced to put up with the constant moans and ludicrous requests from the cast, whilst trying to perform technical cues. Finally, the top of the bill, ex-tv sitcom actress Suzi Monroe - who was famous once...for a while...but is now unable to remember any lines! This backstage tour overflows with laughter, pathos and tenderness.

6 F (18, 18, 25-50, 50-60, 50-60, 55-65). Can be played by 2 F (early 20s, late 50s) or 3 F (18, 40s, 50s).

First professional production - Oct 2010. Further tour Oct 2015.

ONE ACT PLAYS

ONE SUNNY DAY  
A gentle comedy inviting you to eavesdrop on a 1970s family after they buy an old, run down holiday cottage on the Yorkshire coast. Set to a backdrop of the sound of seagulls and the smell of fish and chips, in a time of power cuts, cine cameras, Green Shield Stamps, decimalisation, sideburns and flares. Young married couple, sensible Sylviann and tall, dark, handsome Clifford, along with their toddler son Timothy, make a surprise visit to Sylviann’s parents, Ruby and Henry, at their new holiday cottage. Hoping to spend the day attempting to make the cottage habitable, this unexpected visit causes Ruby and Henry’s DIY plans to grind to a halt. Deciding to make the most of this sunny day they opt to take in the seaside air which, like all family day trips, is filled with family banter, laughter and love. Gentle, funny, charming and nostalgic. 
2 M (25, 49) 2 F (25, 49). First professional production - July 2013

MRS YORK'S SHELTER 
In a small town in 1940’s Yorkshire lives the no-nonsense Mrs York. The matriarch of her neighbourhood. If summat needs sorting just fetch Mrs York, (although she hasn’t a telephone herself, sadly, she does know someone personally that has.) With an enviable veg patch - and enough, (ever-breeding), rabbits to feed the street - her garden also boasts a much sought after Anderson shelter. With one of the only Anderson’s in the street kind hearted Mrs York is keen to take in any waifs and strays when an air raid hits, most of whom arouse Mr York’s suspicions. Having decked it out with all the essentials, ready for company to arrive at a moment’s notice, her shelter becomes the talk of street. However, Mrs York’s war soon becomes one battle after another; a battle to prevent the Anderson from flooding; a battle to keep Mrs Pattison’s dog, Rover, out of her garden - who is intent on eyeing up her rabbits at every opportunity; and a battle to stop Mr York growing mushrooms in her beloved shelter. Please form an orderly queue at the garden gate for poignant nostalgia and laughs galore in Mrs York’s Shelter. 
1 M (40-50), 2 F (40-50). First professional production - May 2013

 

I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND 
It's 1963, the time of the Great Train Robbery, the Christine Keeler scandal, space missions, President Kennedy and Lady Chatterley's Lover. In a terraced house in the North of England are two teenage girls with one love, a new group - The Beatles. Based on true anecdotes we follow Sylvie, her family and her friend Pamela in this hilarious story of the day the Fab Four came to town!  A one act play running at 
1 hour 20 minutes. 4 F (16, 16, 41, 63). First professional production - July 2012

BLITZ BRIDE  
It's wartime Britain and ATS girl Ruby is set to wed Henry, although sooner than planned (if Henry and her Dad, Arthur, have anything to do with it) for Ruby to avoid a posting abroad! Stationed away from home it is left for her mother, Peggy, and her heavily pregnant best friend, Nancy, to organise the lot. Based on true anecdotes and full of nostalgia and laughs. This is a one act play lasting approximately  1 hour 05 minutes. 3 F (22, 22, 45-55). First professional production - July 2011. Nominated for Best Production at the Buxton Festival Fringe 2011. Further tour May-Oct 2012. Later adapted in to a full stage length musical in 2014. The musical version is not available for use.

STANDBY ON STAGE PLEASE!  
Suzi, a well-known TV sitcom actress, has fuelled her celebrity status by appearing on Celebrity Ready Steady Cook, Celebrity Come Dine With Me, Celebrity Bargain Hunt, Celebrity Weakest Link and so on. She is now starring in a top pantomime and seems oblivious to the fact she is hired purely for her name, not her acting ability. Set in the wings of a theatre we witness Suzi's inability to remember any of her lines, her ludicrous requests to those around her and her constant off-stage wittering in the direction of the long-suffering stage manager, Kate. Despite their lifestyle differences we realise perhaps Suzi & Kate envy each other and that fame isn't all it's cracked up to be. A 45 minute one act comedy. Later lengthened in to Star Makers. 2 F (early 20s & 30s-50s - older preferred). First professional production July 2009

SHORT PLAYS

THE JOY OF PAINTING
Widowed sisters, Iris and Mavis, have lived together in Iris's beloved house for years, until her son sells it. Forced to move, are they as gentle 
as they appear? Approx 15 min. 2F (70s/80s) plus offstage male voice. First performed at the Buxton Festival Fringe in July 2011 as part of 
'Small Portions'.

FANCY PANTS
Jeff and Dawn are invited to his brother's 40th birthday party - however, they hate parties and they really hate this type of party...a fancy dress. Approx 25 min. 1M (40s) 2F (20s, 40s) First performed at the Buxton Festival Fringe in July 2011 as part of 'Small Portions'

FOOT DAY
Sheila has her feet 'done' at home every 6 weeks & looks forward to this time spent with her chiropodist. A captive audience for all her news is a highlight for Sheila. Approx 15 min. 2F (70s, 20s/30s) First performed at the Buxton Festival Fringe in July 2011 as part of 'Small Portions'.

 

TEA TOWELS & TIARAS
Sophie has spent 2 years planning her dream wedding only to learn that Prince William and Kate Middleton are to marry on the same day. Sophie's royalist Nana now refuses to miss the royal wedding excitement on TV. Approx 15 min. 3F (22, 44, 66) First performed at the Buxton Festival Fringe in July 2011 as part of 'Small Portions'.

 

STAR GAZING
Quirky Kerry-Ann and best friend Gemma-Louise stand patiently at theatre stage doors in the hope of seeing the famous & collecting autographs. As Gemma-Louise is recovering from her wisdom tooth removal Kerry-Ann must stand alone tonight. (An excerpt from full length play 'Star Makers'). Approx 10 min. 3F (1 20s, 2 50s) Edited to this length & performed as part of 'Small Portions' at the Buxton Festival 
Fringe in July 2011

 

NIGHTWATCH
Pete & Susan have put up with their thoughtless neighbours blocking their car in night after night for long enough and they can take no more. 
5 minutes. 1M (40s) 2F (40s, 20s-30s) First performed as a finalist in the Daffodil Theatre Awards, Statonbury Theatre, Milton Keynes. 
25th Oct 2009.